A chef I am not...

How many cadbury favourites wrappers are in the empty wine glass? If you guessed 8 you would be right. This was desert after my delicious dinner of a weight watchers dinner last night....and you know what...it was delicious and Ill be buying them again. The sh*t thing is, is that it was so bloody tiny that I filled up on the equivalent of a huge chocolate bar afterwards by inhaling 8 mini favourites.

I am no chef I admit.....ex can attest to that also. If I have to cook I will, but to be honest Im just not into it...ESPECIALLY for one person. I know I know, I could be cooking for me and mini man, ie whatever I cook the night before, he has for lunch or dinner the next day...but I wouldnt do it to the poor thing. Dont get me wrong, I do cook him vegies and he has meat and fish etc, but its not fancy pants in the slightest...thank god he doesnt know any better, and thank god even more he never ate any of the delicious gourmet meals that his dad used to serve up for our dinner every night....cos if he did he too would be having major withdrawals. In saying that I have adjusted quite well to my cardboard box dinners, and my mum god bless her has cooked a months supply of lasagne and quiches to help me consume unwanted calories....sushi train and maccas is also round the corner.

A good friend once tried to get me into cooking about a year or so ago (my mum has tried to all my life), and I gave it a good go for about a week, surprising ex when he got home with...ta daaaaaa.....tacos (thats one dish I can serve up without people running to the bathroom afterwards) but there is only so many taco nights you can have in a week...and 4 out of 7 nights does not a good union make...hmmmm, maybe thats why Im finding myself now eating out of a cardboard box...maybe its just that I am lazy...but deep down I know its because Im scared of poisoning myself and mini man.....and that Im lazy. I always sucked at science and cooking to me is like a science...getting all the timings right, turning this on now, turning the heat down, flipping this, poking that, smelling and tasting everything....urrgh scary,.....and annoying...I mean I can follow recipes but that is so time consuming and um boring. But moving forward I am going to try and start to get into it a bit more...specially for mini mans sake...I think he is getting sick of his Rafferty's Garden pouches that I produce from the cupboard for every meal..IM KIDDING, its only every third meal maybe,,,,just to spice his three veg and meats up a bit. Its funny because I love watching masterchef and my restaurant rules, but I think I like watching that because of all the drama and bitchiness that goes along with it. I would SUCK if I worked in a commercial kitchen and the only way you would see me in there was if I was coming in to complain about a meal that I ordered (stand up for your rights people, specially in restaurants). I could wash the dishes quite happily but thats about it....anything else and you would see me cowering in the big commercial dishwashers.

A friend over in the UK has started making lovely cupcakes and they look ahhhhmazing, when she sent me a photo I actually accused her of getting the photo off google or something, but alas no, she assures me she mastered these all by herself (and the magic of instagram helped too apparently)...good on her and they are divine (see below) so maybe I could start off baking....although I really dont need all these sugary treats around the house especially since I am now single and trying to stay in tip top shape for the 100's of men lining up to date me, but I would much prefer to cook something pretty and give it away to an unsuspecting passerby. Another girlfriend who has moved to the south coast (whom Im hoping to visit very soon so she can give me lots of pointers on lots of lovely things, see her blog www.oursouthcoastyear.blogspot.com.au ) recently and has started a herb garden using all the lovely herbs in her meals etc, that is inspiring but I know I would just end up killing my herb garden or possums would eat it...but this is whole other entry, exciting as it sounds. I must stop rambling so mini man and I can do a big lovely grocery run to stock up on lean cuisines and Rafferty's pouches..(Im kidding nanny Chris..or am I?)

Procrastination...truly a work out for the mind

So I went for my first run yesterday in about two months....I had a lot going on as I kept banging on about previously, I also had bronchitis and the doc told me to stop running... I swear it. So yeah anyway, i thought, 'right, Im moved, Im unpacked, Im not sick, ex is minding mini man, whats your excuse this time lady?' and I didnt have an answer for myself. So I put on my runners, my fully sick make you go faster and longer nike running leggings (you arent a true runner if you dont have these you know!) a hoodie as it was bloody freezing and i was out the door. Thought I would head for a run down somewhere Balmoral way....but I needed a fully sick go faster and longer running cap (as you cant go running without one you know)...my awesome trucker cap from Penang just wasnt cutting it anymore...neither was ex's 'girls gone wild' cap. So I popped into Lorna Jane to get a special fang dangled one, and was in there for about 20 minutes umming and ahhing over what colour combo would make me go faster and look more professional. Once chosen, I was again out the door...buuuuut I happened to have a voucher from OPSM tucked into my little zip compartment in the back of my pants and thought, 'hey why not check out some sunnies, I just so happen to have my complimentary fifty buck voucher on me that medibank gave me...wont take long, just a quick sneek peek'....lo and behold OPSM was closed...damn it, what kind of tom foolery is this???, this run is getting closer and closer....quick think, what else can I mindlessly do to stop me from starting this god awful chore...ummmm nothing....because it takes bloody 5 minutes to walk up and down the shops in mosman along military road...look I love it here, but please sort this issue out mosman council, or whoever is in charge of putting more cool stores in....I need more procrastination time. So after much ado about seriously bloody nothing I bit the bullet and walked sensibly (didnt run as I could have tripped) down the hill to Balmoral to start my little run. So anyway this story is quite boring so Im going to wind it up, I got down to the bottom, had a jog and walked back up the evil evil stairs at the east end (or is it South?) of Balmoral and they KILLED ME! i think i have shin splints, if thats what you call it. All in all, I probably ran for about 10 minutes and then walked up the stairs which was another 5, so a 15 minute work out isnt too bad, my procrastination work out I am a lot more proud of....all up that was probably about 50 minutes. God exercise is the devils work, and I seriously do not understand people that bang on about feeling so awesome and energised after a work out...I NEVER feel that, I just feel tired and want to go to bed. Anyhoo, procrastinating is fun and healthy and Im all for it, in moderation of course. Was nice to head to Balmoral for my pretend run too, so beautiful down there, even on a crap day. On the way back home I got my usual skim cap as a reward and got a text from a friend asking if I would like to catch up with him for a drink in the city....i was listening to S & M by rihanna, getting my groove on and thought  'yes I am definitely up for some single gal action in the city with some lovely gay boys' ex has mini man, lets do it. An hour later, we pretty much texted each other at the same time saying we cant be f**ked, we are getting too old and staying in where its nice and warm...he must have had a really hard procrastinating work out too Im guessing.

Way to start the day

Just woke up crying singing 'jar of hearts' and the weird thing is, I knew all the words in my dream and had an awesome voice but I'm trying to remember them now and I can't and my voice sux. I dreamt a friend was saying the reason ex and I broke up was so he could make way for his new younger version ..... This hasn't happened yet but the sad thing is, it probably will, hopefully in real life he will be a bit more tactful, I know he isn't heartless. I have woken up so many times in the past crying, I mean before all this happened, I had so many dreams where he left me for someone else and was so cruel about it, I would actually wake up sobbing. Maybe it was a premonition. Why can't I dream of winning lotto numbers or cures for cancer or something!! I know he isn't like this in real life and cares and loves me very much still bit its still f**ked......and now my eyes are red and sore and I can't get this song out of my head, I love the song but it's not exactly an uplifting way to start the day :( boo me. Here is a picture of our beautiful mini man to lift the spirits, we got something right at least.

Its been a while...

For many things but lets not delve too deep into those issues. So in a quick review/round up over the past week and a half (dont want to dribble on too much of course) I have moved house in the worst wet weather sydney has seen all year, im sure i wasnt the only one moving that day but it sure bloody felt like it, had my ex pils round to help me get sorted...what a godsend!, unpacked, had the flu and felt like I was swallowing razor blades for 5 days, revisited one of my loves Mr Minsky (this was obviously before flu came along) with a girlfriend, (who Im pretty sure has been replaced by a younger city slicker top 40 rehasher type...not complaining), unpacked,  been hit on by a 25 yr old riot squad copper(again...not complaining :) who thought I was 27,too hot to be a mum (offensive much ?!?!?) and hotter than Miranda Kerr...., cos she was too airbrushed...is that a compliment? he was well maggot and it was very dark so Im writting off that whole episode , been to a lovely baby shower, had my supermum fall off the back decking steps possibly breaking a rib, had the garbos literally skim the top of my otto bin cos it was too full and dump it in the gutter leaving it there, helped my ex move (his new place is not too shabby I must say), got lots of supportive "you go girl" messages on facey which was nice, unpacked, had cleaners come through the manly place, do a shit job, complained, got them out again, ummm, had my first house guests (other than, ex, family etc) antioxidant coffee and choccy slice was had.....so grown up, had a lovely note by a concerned new neighbour left on my windscreen saying that if i am not a resident then I should not be parking here....bloody council chic gave me the wrong parking sticker, listened to 20 year olds fighting out the front of my place saying they were going to 'effing kill you with this bottle'... (nice....kind landlord, PLEASE bloody hurry up and fix my front door lock) ummmmmmmmmmm, been to kirribilli markets (DISAPPOINTING!!!, well it was today anyway, actually got 9 greeting cards for $15 so not a huge waste of time, and the seller told me they are cards they sell to DJ's...hmmmm, fancy), unpacked, driven my poor broken ribbed muma back home up the coast, driven back down, unpacked, lost the cords to my printer (can you by just printer cords?) Waiting to hear news of a good friends buba arrival in the UK...anyday now, realised how underrated good pegs are,...I love hanging up washing....sad i know. Ummmmm what else, sorted out a massive 'to sell' pile which I will probably never get round to doing, covered myself in 100 briuses....sexy, not epilated my legs for a week.....sexy, had a few massive cries trying to adjust to this whole new thing and a new house (Im still sleeping with a night light...yikes....bunny girl doesnt mind though), given mini man his first maccas happy meal (sorry nanny Chris, sushi train was PACKED and we werent waiting for 45minutes) unpacked....The best news of all though is that mini man loves his new digs, has slept through every single night, and even woke me up at 11pm a couple nights ago cos he was giggling so hard in his sleep. Thank god I made it through, sorry, I mean thank god, WE made it through. Right I think thats about it.....good to get it all off my chest, speaking of which I dont have one, as I have lost a wee bit of weight with all the stress/work/mentalness going on...time for a boob job me thinks as I sure as hell dont want to put weight back on! wow...that was a massive dribble on.

urgggggggggh

So effing typical! Day before the 'big day' of moving and its bloody raining cats, dogs and the whole bloody zoo and is meant to continue for a few days. Why god why do you punish me so? and this combined with feeling like crapola after yet another girls gone wild night out with another chickadee of mine. This was on Sunday night and I still feel like something my son dragged in from the darkest depths of the compost heap out the back. Oh well these trying times just make us stronger and there are worse things going on the world thats for sure. Sunday was fun, myself and my partner in crime headed down for a last hurrah to Manly Wharf for some cheeky bevies and a perve on some young lads...not too young of course. This I can safely say was accomplished this time, not like Thursday nights efforts and the perve factor being non existent. After the wharf we were dragged....(actually thats a lie, we quite happily complied) to the good ol Boat Shed.. I must say, in all my time i have not had the pleasure of meeting said establishment until Sunday night....and it did not disappoint, seedy, stinky, cheesy tunes and half cut manly maggots stumbling about....good times had by all. I must point out, and reiterate if I havent already, I do not make it a regular thing to hit the town and act like a crazy lady....just at the moment while I am still coming to terms with all thats going on, well thats my excuse anyway for now. So I have spoken to the removalists and they told me its fine to move in the rain, we just need to go get plastic covers for everything...awesome, as if I dont have enough to do today! Thats ok, I am strong, here me roar, I can do it. I dont know why I freak out, my mum raised me and my bro by herself from the ages of 5 and 10 or something like that and we had to do a huge move. After staying in a house for 15 years the amount of absolute crap you can accumulate is quite scary but she managed (as she has super human powers, Im sure mini man thinks that of me too) and Im sure we will manage too....if only this rain would kindly take its sorry ass to another part of the globe....at least for tomorrow anyway.
Look out Manly!

Fragile much?

Yes would be the answer. I had a girls night out on the town the other night with two of my besties and, we quite frankly tore the town a new behind! We ripped that s**t up (well in my eyes we did)!!! Am I a bad mum? I seriously felt like it the next day, felt guilty for drinking a wee bit too much, hungover and generally sorry for myself (this last sorry for myself feeling is becoming a regular occurrence). Mini man was totally fine and none the wiser and I certainly dont go out all the time but when you are freshly single, you need to get out there and shake what yo mumma gave you...this I accomplished. Ex goes out all the time, so whats good for the goose is good for the gander or something like that (another classic mum quote, thanks mum). We started off for a drinky poo at the Establishment in the city, my god its a meat market, perhaps a jungle even, in there, I forgot what its like, then we headed to the new Star City to check out its fancy pants makeover....looks amazing but wow it was DEAD, I think they really need to ramp up the advertising for this place and having experienced the oh so awesomeness that is vegas, it was kind of a let down..but then we are apparently a fair way behind in the casion department. Anyhoo, we had a yummy Italian dinner at Balla, chugged down some pinot and thought lets head back to the meat market for some perving and dancing...dancing was had but as far as perving....what a let down. Come on guys, show us what you've got!! All in all it was a really fun night with two of my chickadees and cant wait to do it again tonight...I kid I kid. Someone has to be responsible around here....but to be responsible you also have to let loose once in a while, thats my motto and Im sticking to it.

Easter Monday Yum Chaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Yummmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Cha! yum cha yum cha yum cha....another one of my great loves. Actually yum cha is a little family thing that myself, mini man and mini mans dad love doing together, so in honor of it being Easter Monday and of our time in Manly town winding up, we thought we would go treat ourselves to all things yummy and cha at Manly Phoenix......it didnt disappoint as usual. Yep ex and I still go out and do normal things with our mini man which is good, its really weird, we love hanging out together and have fun together but we just arent 'together'. Anyway Im just glad that we can hang out as a family still, mini man loves it and possibly loves yum cha even more (he wouldnt be alone in this thought) if the shots below are anything to go by. In saying that, its moving day in a weeks time and I dont think Ive really come to terms that its just going to be me and mini man in our new place.. I am starting to get a bit nervous and anxious and freaking out about the little things like the security of the doors ( I am a massive security nut, and have been known to push wardrobes up against doors when staying in strange places to make it more difficult for anyone trying to break in...as they do), who will take the huntsman's outside that creep in, and HOW (and this is a big one) the f**k am I going to watch American Horror Story by myself ? I think I may have to IQ that one and watch it when mini man is asleep during the day...all very valid and serious points. Anyway only time will tell Im guessing.