Boring boring boring boring....or am I just a whinger?

So its been about a month since my last post..why is this you ask, or you may not...well Ill tell you..its because I have absolutely diddly squat to write about so why would I bore anyone with that. Ill try and do a re-cap of the last month. There have a been a few girls nights which were actually really fun and not boring at all, I had a about 8 chickadees over to mine for one particular evening for drinky poos and nibbles and then we hit the crazy town of Neutral Bay...and I must say we had a ball...as the below shot clearly shows....what a lovely charming lady like shot

The weather was absolutely atrocious so it was great that we all made the effort to doll ourselves up and get our booggie on. What else...still been job hunting, there are a few that seem like they could be winners and still going to follow up interviews so we'll see. Its quite strange getting all fancied up in corporate work gear again, and low and behold I even wore a top to one of my interviews that was from dah dah dah dahhhhh...Lara Ashley WTF !?!?!?! Even ex was asking what the hell I had on...but it truly wasnt that bad...it was just a plain black knit with some lovely little lady like pearls around the neck line (no rude jokes thank you very much!!)...here I am on the way into the city in interview gear with mini man...was a divine morning and my Laura Ashely number was a hit with all the old corporate ladies.

So yes been going to interviews, going on girls nights, mini man has been loving daycare so its all good really......but boring, well I shouldnt really say that as I sound like an ungrateful whinger but there has just been nothing of exciting interest to write about, but evidently I still am...in this blog post write now...as the yanks would say....'go figure' or 'my bad' or something along those lines. Mini Mans great nan (who we call 'big', she is actually tiny) had a fall though which wasnt to good at all, we have visited her already and she is due to come out of hospital today and looking forward to seeing how she is this afternoon, so Ill make sure mini man chooses a lovely bunch of flowers to give to Big this afternoon for her arrival home.

Uh ohhhhh, I hear the wee mini man calling from his supposed slumber of sleep that lasted for...oh 45minutes, so I shall now sign out and hopefully have some interesting stuff to write soon.

Urrggghhh....the hunt...is on....for a JOB!

Ok, so now that myself and mini man are settled into our new abode that is quite humble, he has started at daycare....3rd week now and not too many tears..YIPEEEEEE, gotten him a haircut and not too many tears...YIPEEEEE, worked out some sort of routine with ex for when he has mm stay over and not too many tears...YIPEEEEE (you get the picture)..Its now time people for me to get a da da da daaaaaaahhhhh... JOB!!!! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, say it isnt so!! But alas it is so. God I need to get one, its been two years since I was in the world of talking to adults without mentioning cast changes of hi-5 and the wiggles or what nappies are best for night time piss ups...TWO YEARS I tells ya!!! where has that time gone? can a person who is 85cm tall and weigh 12.5kg really take up that much time??? YES they can. Dont get me wrong, mm is my main focus and my main job (if you can call it that..is that wrong?) and I love love love hanging out with him, and I have never loved anything so much in my life but, like I may have mentioned before...I like my sanity also and a bit of me time...(are we selfish for wanting me time? I feel guitly about wanting that sometimes) ...and a bit of extra cashola wouldnt hurt...oh and I need to pay bills, get some independence back and most importantly buy some boobs to replace the raisins that currently reside on my chest, bit of botox here and there...same old gripe that we all have really. So yes the hunt is on, Im on seek, have been to a few interviews that seem promising (and hopefully are) so we'll see.

To be honest I DONT CARE what I do...well thats a lie, I do care but thats a whole other post, I just need to get out there, specially now that mm is at daycare....yes I have two days to myself but to do what??..yes yes yes...clean the house, go for a jog, have a coffee with friends, catch up on jersey shore and ice loves coco, put a colour through my hair..actually there is a lot I could when I think about it.....BUT I really want to get back into my design and eventually have my own business that generates some sort of semblance to an income,...but god, thats scary, thats actually putting my design skills out there for everyone to see...and after two years Im pretty sure they have evaporated completely. No just a nice normal 9 -5 desk job (part time of course) is for me at the moment...something that I can breeze into, do my job (quite competently, professionally in a timely manner and all with a smile I might add :) breeze out of and then come home and work on my empire of fabulous fabrics in my spare time. Hmmmm perhaps a refresher course in photoshop and illustrator wouldnt go astray...but DOH... I need a job to pay for it. Why oh why wasnt I born a kardashian and get paid to do sweet FA. No its all good, I love job hunting, its the thrill of the chase and Im not going to take something that isnt right for me (which I am lucky to have that luxury I know) and likewise for the company potentially hiring me...if they think Im all sorts of wrong (which clearly Im not...if we are honest)  then its best I dont work there...it would just be a waste of time for all involved.

I went to a seminar on Monday night about blogging and the fabulous Kerri Sackville, www.lifeandothercrises.blogspot.com.au, was guest speaker...she made me feel normal in the chase for being successful at something, she is a wife, mother of 3, and has a rabbit, she has just released her latest book (she has two now), has an amazing blog, and twitter following of 5000 (I still dont even really know what twitter is) and she still feels overwhelmed, anxious and under the pump 24/7 and feels that she still hasnt succeeded, even though in my eyes and everyone elses too...she's made it..she is a HUGE success but do we ever realize it?...I know Im talking about just getting a job but I really want to be successful at something...yes I am a mother to the most gorgeous boy in the world and he is what I am most proud of but being successful at something that I created, that I did by myself, that some random person picks up and says 'wow thats cool'...thats what I want...I guess the bigger issue here is why?? why do I want that?? Oh god, that is a whole other post again....and I was only starting this one to talk about job hunting!!! Down the garden path we went..oops.

I cooooooked

I did it!!!! I finally cooked. Ive been on my own and in my new place for a month and a bit now and I finally christened the stove top! I mean I can cook, but for some reason it scares the sh*t out of me....Is it the flames of the gas burners, the oil in the pan swirling around...Ohhhh just realized it's the effing onions, I seriously cry like mini man having a meltdown every time. My eyes are actually still stinging two hrs later, time for a trip to spec savers maybe.

I only cooked spag bol but it is mighty tasty, well I cooked it for mini mans meals so hopefully he approves....he loved rearranging the plastic container drawer (do we still call it a tuppawear drawer..not sure?) while i was busy creating a mouthwatering masterpiece so that's a bonus. What will be my next gourmet meal....hmmm one could only wonder? I'm guessing spag Bol with a twist like oregano instead of mixed herbs....crazy right? I'm totally entering masterchef next year.

Meltdowns r us....

Meltdowns of the mini man kind. They are coming on thick and fast now (sounds a bit like labor...just as painful too). The first noticeable one in public was on mothers day, myself mini man and my mum went along to yum cha with my bro and his family.... The fun started as soon as we attempted to sit down. Tears tears tears, no way was he having any of this highchair bulls**t! Mini man normally salivates then devours every trolley in sight as soon as we step foot into yum cha...not this time. Plonked him in, attempted to say hello to everyone and try and hold normal 'what's been happening' convo's but bloody hell, it was like running a marathon dealing with mm's meltdown! There was nothing that I could produce in front of him that would calm his frazzled nerves, even lining up the cast of hi-5 in front him would have failed (hmmm..maybe not). Anyway after an hour of this I think we were all over it and packed up and went back to my bros house for a much needed cup of harden the f**k up. Now he was in his element, the poor little bugger, all he wanted was some familiar surroundings and the soothing sounds of a ukalalie! I mean who wouldn't. So what does one do in these situations of temper tantrums??? Quite frankly, you just deal with it best you can, try every trick in the book, and count the hours down to the next one ....which was this morning as I dropped mm off for his second week at kindy...not a happy camper...but this is life and it's amazing how you just get on with it, I mean I know there will be other major things to come along the way which will surely turn me prematurely grey but until then, I shall enjoy these lovely Meltdowns and deal with them as they come. Mm is staying at his dads for the first time tonight...yikes! Time to pass the fun of Meltdowns on to him for a bit me thinks. Hats off to all the mums and dads who have more than one meltdown to deal with at a time!

Mothers day...

So ex bought round a card, flowers a coffee and the newspaper this morning.... All from mini man of course. Was very sweet indeed, and made feel a bit special even though we aren't together. Is it weird that he did that? I mean we still love and care for each other very much buttt we have separated. I don't care, I think it was nice, and I mean it was really from mini man, not him. It even said so in the card......'love mini man and the girls' Mothers day though...what a scam, just like valentines day and Halloween, such a cynic aren't I. I'm sure the chrysanthemums bought for me were probably 50 bucks (mini man only has $12 in his piggy bank so not sure how he paid for them) and the Sunday paper marked up 100% but it's still sweet isn't it. Anyway happy mothers day to all the mums and to everyone else happy Sunday!

....bad mum?

Am I a bad mum for going with my son on his first day of kindy and ditching him an hour later for Zara? In my defense he is loving it SICK, so his teachers were encouraging me to go shop...i swear,well and no calls yet from them yet so I'm pretty sure he has forgotten who mum and dad are. Didn't hurt that we started the day off on a fully sick ferry ride either. Just about to go meet ex for lunch to fill in time till I pick mini man up after his sleep..... I could get used to this!! Oh yeah I have to get a job, booooo!

Oh my god...it's first day of school!!!

Can't believe it's already first day of kindy! Our little mini man is growing up so fast, as they do of course but it's still not real to me. Will be exciting I guess, especially knowing that I will have TWO full days to myself...(is it bad to have a feeling of freedom?) although I do plan on getting a job somewhere, but still. I'm just dreading that my mini man will be freaking out, although after one or two visits I'm sure he'll be right into it and motioning for me to just leave him at the front gate when we get there, that's what everyone keeps telling me. God I'm nervous though, it's in the big smoke, so will be catching a ferry and walking through the city to get to it, what if he gets a ciggie butt thrown in his face, or is subjected to lots of angry office workers on their blackberrys trying to sort their days s**t out?!?! Yikes....now I'm scared, I guess it's good for the sole and what doesn't break you makes you stronger, blah blah blah....at least going to a city one he'll learn to rough it with the best of them and figure out how to negotiate who should get what colour crayon etc, that's what I'm hoping for anyway. He'll be driving himself down to the ferry soon himself I'm pretty sure (he wishes anyway, obsessed with the car) ...that's just how much he'll love it...yep I'm sure of it...totally 100%.